![]() The young girl turned out to be a journalist who enjoyed the talk so much she told her editor. No matter how bleak things look, don’t give up. I didn’t let the fact that I’d be lucky to sell three copies of my book bother me. Nevertheless, I had promised an entertaining speech and so I attempted to give one. One of those was a friend who had come to support me, another was a young lady of about twenty who was way too young to even enjoy my book and the front row consisted of three older women. The clock struck ten and I made my grand entrance into a room of, wait for it, only five people. Last minute preparation in front of the mirror included checking that there was no spinach stuck in my front teeth and that I hadn’t smeared mascara under my eyes. Tea, coffee and biscuits had been laid on for the masses. The members of staff were excited about the event and impressed with all the publicity I had secured for it and the venue. I packed up my boxes of books and made for the conference room which was all ready for me. I practised in front of a mirror and even videoed myself giving it, to ensure I looked natural. I wrote it out, practised it, scribbled it out again and rewrote it yet again. I worried about my speech for days, no make that for weeks. Even a free local magazine which goes into every house in the area had done a great feature on me, the novel and the launch. I had been interviewed on local radio and it had been promoted by all local newspapers. Twitter was awash with tweets about the event. Leaflets were distributed into every home. ![]() The launch received considerable press attention. I always start with an anecdote, then get onto the serious stuff, throw in a few quick sharp humorous comments and end with another quip.Įarlier this year, I launched my latest novel at a well known local venue in my nearest town. ![]() You hook them with something funny and leave them laughing. I try to follow Erma Bombeck’s philosophy. I still spend all night the night before, wide awake, wondering if should add this bit or take out that comment. It must have been good because I was invited back and that second talk led to a further engagement – well, actually several engagements. It was plain sailing thereon in and everyone had a jolly fine time. It was a large hairy dog (belonging to the lady of the house) that had dozed off behind a settee. I know I can go on a bit but I haven’t actually made someone doze off within the first ten minutes before,” I announced. The rumbling became louder and gradually others could hear it. This time I was met with little but frosty glares and then I heard it…a soft snore. I’d tried it out several times in conversation with positive results. Normally, people immediately associate with that. Undeterred, I launched into why I wrote and what my novels were about. My local book club only manages to read wine labels.”) They met with a stony silence. It seems far more impressive than my own. (“Thank you for inviting me to your Book Club. I attempted to break the ice with a few feeble jokes. Still, humour is always welcome, no matter what genre you write, so I always try to start off on a positive note. Okay, I can be funny, especially if I have had a glass or two of wine, but in this situation I had been invited to talk about publishing. People think if you write humour you are a comic – well, I’m not. The problem was, they were a tough crowd, tougher than usual, because they had been kept waiting. They had consumed all the fruit cake and coffee assigned for a half-time interval. Through no fault of my own I turned up late, hot and bothered, to face a crowd of grumpy women who had been sitting around for over half an hour. I’d prepared what I considered to be a cheerful and upbeat talk. It consisted of formidable and rather clever ladies who were semi-reluctant to let an upstart like me come and talk to them. It took place in an intimidating, sprawling house where the sitting room was the size of my entire bungalow. My first speech as an author was to a book club. Some of the IU team are very gifted in that direction), or are blessed with oratory prowess. We rarely employ rhetorical irony to win over our listeners (actually, I take that bit back. We are not practised in such verbal skills. *Julius Caesar may have been a great statesman and a gifted orator but we are merely authors. Got your first author gig? Giving a speech? That first speech or book signing event can be pretty daunting.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |